Descending into the Maze of Domestic Violence

Descending into the Maze of Domestic Violence 

Summary: This essay describes how domestic violence progressively intensifies, from emotional control to femicide. It highlights warning signs during the dating stage, analyzes the phenomenon of learned helplessness, and emphasizes the urgency of preventing and making gender-based violence visible from its earliest manifestations.

Domestic violence constitutes one of the most persistent forms of human rights violations worldwide. It often manifests progressively, beginning with subtle controlling behaviors disguised as affection, which gradually escalate into explicit acts of physical, sexual, psychological, and economic violence. The United Nations’ Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women defines such violence as “any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual or psychological harm or suffering to women.” ¹

In the early stages of a relationship, the aggressor may exhibit behaviors that appear to be signs of affection or protection but are in fact rooted in patterns of domination. This dynamic intensifies as the victim slowly gives up personal space, autonomy, and decision-making power — often without being fully aware of the process. Various studies have pointed out that, in these types of relationships, victims develop what is known as “learned helplessness syndrome,” a psychological state characterized by the perception of a lack of control over one’s own life resulting from prolonged exposure to traumatic events. ²

This syndrome contributes to many women remaining in abusive relationships, even when they are in imminent danger. Low self-esteem, fear, social pressure, economic dependence, the presence of children, and religious beliefs are among the factors that can influence the decision to remain in a violent relationship. ³

Below is a progressive sequence of behaviors commonly identified in domestic violence situations, from early signs of control to lethal acts of violence. This list, based on experiences documented by various human rights and public health organizations, illustrates the escalation process that often culminates in femicide:

1. Excessive jealousy and possessiveness, justified as expressions of love.
   
   
2. Restriction of contact with friends, family, or work and educational activities.
   
   
3. Frequent humiliation in public or private.
   
   
4. Minimization or ridicule of the partner’s fears or concerns.
   
   
5. Blame-shifting and episodes of intimidating anger.
6. Alternation between displays of affection and rejection, generating emotional confusion
   
   
7. Touching that causes pain or discomfort, without the partner’s consent.
   
   
8. Destruction of, or threats to destroy personal belongings.
   
   
9. Threats of physical harm to the partner, family members, friends, or pets.
   
   
10. Coercion to engage in unwanted sexual relations.
    
    
11. Beatings or other physical assaults justified by the supposed provocation of the victim.
    
    
12. Threats to take away custody of the children.
    
    
13. Threats of suicide if the victim decides to end the relationship.
    
    
14. Episodes of violence requiring hospitalization.
    
    
15. Explicit threats of homicide followed by suicide.
    
    
16. Disregard for restraining orders, accompanied by direct death threats.
    
    
17. The culmination of the cycle in the murder of the victim.

Numerous experts warn that aggressors easily recognize signs of emotional vulnerability — such as the need for affection or companionship — which makes them skilled manipulators of their victims’ will. ⁴ Therefore, it is essential to recognize early warning signs, develop prevention tools, and strengthen the self-esteem of women and girls — and in many cases, of men. Violence must never be normalized or justified under any circumstances. Educational, religious, and governmental institutions have the responsibility to create safe, informed spaces committed to the eradication of all forms of gender-based violence.

References:

• United Nations (UN), Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women, 1993.
  https://www.ohchr.org/sp/professionalinterest/pages/violenceagainstwomen.aspx
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• Walker, Lenore E. The Battered Woman. New York: Harper and Row, 1979.
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• United Nations, In-depth Study on All Forms of Violence against Women, Report of the Secretary-General (A/61/122 and Add.1), New York, 2006.
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• Pan American Health Organization (PAHO), Violence against Women, 2023.
  https://www.paho.org/es/temas/violencia-contra-mujer